By Josfyn Uba
At just 23, when Abisayo Fakiyesi, survivor_iyanu, a staff of Punch Newspapers was first diagnosed of breast cancer, she simply laughed wondering how possible it could be for someone that young to be affected by this deadly ailment. She had always thought that only married or elderly women that can be affected. She battled and came out of it. About four years later, the monster reared its ugly head even as her wedding plans were called off by her ex, it didn’t matter, anymore. All she cared for was her life. Twice she suffered breast cancer. Twice, she survived it. Abisayo’s story is that of faith in God and determination to live. Today, she is back on her feet again, serving as an inspiration and beacon of hope those walking this difficult terrain.
Every year, the month of October is set aside by the United Nations as Breast Cancer Month in celebration of Breast Cancer Survivors for their resilience and strength of character. In this interview with Daily Sun, Abisayo Fakiyesi, a two-time survivor relived her journey through the storm, stigmatization and fears.
How did you find out about your breast cancer?
I have had breast cancer two times. The first time was 2015 and the second time, 2019. The first time I found out, I woke up in the morning and I saw a patch of blood on the nipple of my left breast and I wondered what was going on. I was going to see the doctor after running several tests for several days. I was using a private hospital at first. That was how I was told that I had breast cancer. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I was wondering how a young lady of just 23 could have this type of ailment. I had to go to the government hospital where I did several tests again. The diagnosis proved to be the same breast cancer. My first diagnosis was 2015 while the second one was 2019 when I was preparing for my wedding introduction when I found about five lumps on my reconstructed breast because the first time I had it, I went for breast reconstruction to enhance my self-confidence.
At just 23 you were first diagnosed of it. What was your reaction when the doctor informed you about it?
When I was first diagnosed, the first thing was, I laughed. I was wondering how possible that could be because I had always thought that it’s only married women, or elderly women that have breast cancer. I didn’t know that as long as you have started menstruating, even as a 10 year old, it’s possible for one to have this disease. It came with so much shock, sadness but thank God, I have moved pass that. After the diagnoses and I was told that I would have my breast cut off, the whole left breast to be cut off. In my mind, I couldn’t believe it would be possible. I wondered that after that, who will marry me without one breast and how could I give birth were some of the issues I thought about. I didn’t really have so much information about a young person having breast cancer.
In your previous interview, you said that you were going from church to church. Why did you think that seeking spiritual solution was better that medical assistance?
Yes, I started going from church to church. It was in one of the big churches that the Holy Spirit ministered to me and because I have a personal relationship with God, I believe that God can heal me spiritually, but along the line in my spiritual journey, I realized that healing comes in different ways. You can be healed spiritually, financially or medically. When I understood the concept of healing, and hearing from the Holy Spirit, I just succumbed to going back to the hospital. Even when my doctor saw me, he said to me, but I told you that God will heal you. I responded in the affirmative. I just wanted him (doctor) to use his hand to perfect it.
What was your staying power all through the period this crisis?
It was so difficult for me at a time. I was going to commit suicide because I thought that was the only way out. I was bankrupt. I was heavily indebted to people everywhere. In fact, many people had already given up on me. At the point of trying to commit suicide, my staying power was my autistic sister, Busola. She has been a great strength to me. She is the reason, sometimes, career-wise, when I am tired and things do not seem to be going well, she helps me to push on. Before she got married, I was her main benefactor/sponsor. So, I would say if I give up now, who would take care of her? So, I just kept on pushing and I pulled through. I think the God I serve has put her love in my heart so she can be of strength to me, despite her own condition
In all of these, what was the greatest challenge for you?
The greatest challenge while I was battling breast cancer was finance and I didn’t really get as much immediate family support as I required. I think that was what led to most of my depression and sometimes, stigmatization. My major challenge was finance.
I understand that your ex called off your engagement ceremony upon your diagnosis. Did it really matter to you?
When my ex called off the wedding plan, I felt concerned but I felt my life was more important. I knew if he was for me, he would come back to me. If not, no problem. I was more concerned about my life. Like I said, my sister was my strength. She was more important than my ex because I felt I can always get any other good man. Thank God for giving me a good man, today. I will be wedding soon. If I had gone after my ex, probably, I would have died or been messed up, frustrated, depressed and eventually, died but my sister was more important. It didn’t really matter to me despite the concern
You suffered breast cancer twice and both times, you came out alive. Given your peculiar experience, what have you learnt or what has life taught you?
Yes, indeed. Twice I suffered it. Twice I survived it. I learnt a lot in my journey. Sometimes, family doesn’t have to be blood. I also learnt the virtue of patience because when my mum died, and I was in the secondary school, I was in SS1, precisely, maybe her death didn’t allow me to have patience with life but with breast cancer, I got patient and got determined that I had to fight this.
I had to fight this for my autistic sister because I couldn’t imagine my sister’s life without me. I learnt that God is still in the business of doing miracles however He wants to do it. I also learnt that whatever is yours is yours. And what is not yours, you have to let it go. This life that I have is because God really wants to bring out something. I learnt patience because even in the process of healing, it took a long time but I eventually survived it.
From your experience, what would you say about the Nigerian health care system?
My candid assessment of the Nigerian healthcare system is that we have great medical personnel. We have very qualified and capable medical doctors. I can’t begin to mention them here but I experienced their professionalism and upmost care. It was great team that handled my case. On the other hand, it only shows that they don’t have enough, adequate and modern equipment to work with. Government should sincerely and urgently look into the area infrastructural upgrade in the medical sector. I went to India in the course of this my breast cancer treatment; I feel that people will no longer go to seek for medical assistance in India the way they go now. The basic problem is the lack of adequate medical facilities. All they manage with are obsolete equipment and they would keep asking you to come back because there is no functional equipment. Government should inject more funds, monitor the project of equipment installation and focus on the health care sector. A healthy nation is a wealth nation. Thank God for the young medical professionals that Nigeria can boast of. That’s why these wealthy developed countries are poaching them.
And the stigma, fears and uncertainties; Can you relive your experiences?
I always tell breast cancer survivors that you will face stigmatization in this journey before, during and after. So the earlier you realize it, the better you are able to handle it.
What I know is that people that are not knowledgeable about it, often use some particular words. When I hear them say it outside, I just feel that these words are not normal but they don’t determine my future, anyway. With this mind-set, I have been able to live through it.
My fear; I used to think about my chances of getting married and the possibility of making it in life, too.
Yes, I have seen the journey. I still have fears but God forbid it, what if it comes back again. But I am living the moment. I am happy. There are some people that do not have breast cancer and suddenly, they die and you would be wondering why they have to die like that. For me, every moment counts. I thank God who has kept me alive to stand as hope to people going through the same health challenge. Sometimes, I try to erase the fear. It is not like there is no fear but I see myself as a beacon of hope for other people.
The uncertainty; there is also the uncertainty of not being able to get married. I used to have that fear till when God gave me a great man, now. The uncertainty of not being able to have a child is also there but I don’t think I have that because I have seen breast cancer survivors, getting pregnant and giving birth on several instances after the ailment. I am not afraid anymore because I believe God is always there for me always.