Kate Halim
There are some women who are afraid to admit they want to be stay at home mums. These women don’t want to be shamed or called lazy by working mothers.
There is nothing easy about being a stay-at-home mum. It is hard work but some stay-at-home-mums have been pressured to feel like they have to play down what they do.
Our generation is very much about women can do whatever they want except be a stay-at-home mum. Some working mums and working women who don’t have children talk about stay at home mums as if these women are worthless.
There are some things people should stop saying to stay at home mums because they are a bit condescending.
You must get so much time with your kids
Yes, but it’s not exactly quality time. It’s chasing them around, making them eat, making them take their naps, and getting in all the little micro fights that occur during the day. When dad gets home, he is welcomed by well-behaved children that mum wrangled into obedience.
You must be married to Mr. Money bag
Just because a woman is a stay at home mum doesn’t mean that her partner is loaded. Also, since when is it okay to comment on someone’s financial situation like that? Women only seem to think it is okay to speculate on how much a woman’s partner makes when that woman is a stay-at-home-mum.
How traditional of you
This may be translated as: how backwards of you. But really, a stay-at-home mum probably isn’t trying to be traditional or make some sort of statement. She’s just doing what works best for her particular situation. She probably put a lot of thought into this, and discussed it extensively with her partner, and they decided this is what works best for them.
Can I drop my children off with you?
Then there are the working moms who crack jokes to stay-at-home-mums like, “Oh great—want to just be my daycare? I will drop my children off at 11am and be back by 6pm!” They think it is cool to say this.
Why do you need a nanny?
Some stay-at-home mums still hire a part-time nanny, and working mums don’t understand why that’s necessary. But you really don’t know what goes on in these women’s lives. If she has children, and manages the household, she can’t have eyes on her little ones at all times. Maybe she can do the bare minimum of keeping them alive, but she wants a nanny to play with them, help them with their homework, and give them more quality attention when she can’t.
Do you miss work?
So what if she does or what if she doesn’t? If she does miss work, admitting it isn’t helpful right now—this is the boat she is in and if she doesn’t miss work, then what? Does that mean she is lazy or unambitious? What’s the end goal of this question?
What about when the children go to school?
It is not like a stay-at-home mum doesn’t still have lots to do when her children are at school. The moment they leave for school she just thinks, “Alright, now time to do all of the tasks I can’t do while I’m chasing them around.”
Being a dad: 10 things loving fathers do for their children
Nobody said being a good father was easy. No matter what age your child is or how many children you have, you have to know that a father’s work is never done.
To be a good father, you have to be present, be a good disciplinarian and role model, and be sympathetic to your children’s needs without being a pushover.
Loving fathers love their children’s mother. Love your wife without reservation – you can’t do much more for your children than that.
Love them unconditionally. Make sure that your children know you love them no matter what. Don’t confuse this with permissiveness. Unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.
You need to grow up. Children don’t want another buddy; they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions, and engages life with responsibility. Someone they can count on.
Be there and make time for your children. Quality time is all well and good, but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available, make yours count.
Your children don’t care if you have just had a big promotion at your company or whether or not you own the most expensive house on the street. What they care about is whether or not you will be there for them when they need you to be.
If you want to be a good father, then you have to set aside time every day for your children or at least every week no matter how busy you are.
Provide the best you can for your children. Material provision can be tough when jobs are lost and tough times hit. However, you can always provide a stable home for your children with love and affection.
A loving father is a disciplinarian. Children appreciate balance, accountability, and love-drenched discipline. It is called consistency and without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to raise good children.
As a loving father, you must value education. Don’t just read to them; read with them. Don’t just fuss about grades; get involved with their homework. Don’t just talk about learning; be a hands-on advocate. Be a presence at their school by being an active member of the Parents teachers Association.
Loving fathers raise their children to leave home. The simple goal of parenting your children is raising them well-equipped to leave home and to establish their own lives successfully.
Loving fathers teach their children to take responsibility for their actions. Children who learn how to avoid responsibility and avoid cost will sooner or later fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.
The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If fathers learn how to love life and give that blessing to their children, these children will be well prepared for satisfaction in life later on.