By Rita Okoye
Nollywood actress and sex educator, Destiny Amaka, a biracial woman with a French mother and Nigerian father, is known for her boldness and outspoken advocacy for sex education. The Anambra State native in this interview with Sunday Entertainer discusses her relationship status, sexual orientation, and the challenges she’s faced in her career.
What’s new about Destiny Amaka?
Not much. I’m just trying to stay above the hardships that we’re all facing in the country.
At this stage of your career, are there certain roles you can’t play?
Maybe roles that don’t align with my morals or if I don’t believe in the story being told.
You no longer dish out sex tips online. Why did you stop?
Instagram regulations and I’m being a little more strategic. To be honest, it’s a lot of work and time for something that’s unpaid.
How else can fans get such educational sex tips from you?
Through my podcast on YouTube and old content.
Have you considered writing a book on sex?
Maybe not about sex, but about my personal experiences with a little fiction mixed with reality.
Wow! Personal experiences in terms of relationships?
Yes, that would be more interesting.
Have you considered that such a book could scare away any future partner who wants a serious relationship?
That’s why I said with a little fiction. No one will know the part that is true or fiction. Moreover, any man who is “scared” off isn’t mine to keep.
Any plans of getting married soon?
Soon isn’t the issue here; it’s about getting it right. I’m in a lovely relationship, yes. And not all relationships must lead to the altar. If it does, amazing; if it doesn’t, also amazing. I’m big on fitting into the shoes God made for me. I don’t like forcing anything and I’m not afraid of walking away from what’s not mine or right. I love people and I love making beautiful memories. I don’t have any regrets because I chose my partners wisely.
A lot of celebrities’ marriages are crashing. Does it scare you?
A lot of celebrities are just in the public eye. That’s it. Marriage isn’t easy at all. I’m more afraid to be with someone who isn’t as fully committed as I am. But generally, no, I shouldn’t be scared because two good heads are better than one, and I love the idea of having a teammate/life partner. I love love. I just pray to do the marriage journey with someone with real depth, patience, and empathy.
With your wealth of knowledge, what do you think would make marriage last?
The willingness to tolerate, forgive, and want to make it work. Marriage is something that is held by two people. If there is clear communication and roles are clearly defined, then it should work. Marriage is a contract and agreement to do this thing called life together, so similar goals and beliefs are important.
I’ve seen instances where sexual satisfaction is the major issue. If a woman loses interest shortly after marriage and maybe childbirth, how can she be helped?
Communication, realistic expectations, patience, and the willingness to understand the other partner. As for losing libido after childbirth, it’s up to the couple to support each other through counseling, medical assistance, practicing vulnerability, and communication.
How do you deal with sexualizing comments on your DM?
My dear, I have too much to worry about now. I don’t have to reply.
You often post bikini images. Your colleagues would be hitting on you. Have you ever had a thing or two with an actor?
Nope. Never.
Do you have a celebrity crush?
Portable.
What makes you happy?
Being the source of joy for others because I’ve got a lot of joy.
Do you still face some challenges as an actress?
There are challenges in every field. I’ve stopped noticing the challenges and focusing more on ways to achieve what I want.
In your opinion, what does the future hold for female filmmakers in Nollywood?
The sky is the limit. I pray as we enter new heights, we do it in unity.
Do you have any advice for aspiring female actors who want to break into Nollywood?
This advice is for anyone in any work field: develop yourself. Understand what unique value you have to offer. Be consistent and don’t take no for an answer. Although it may tarry, the Lord will make it happen.
How can they scale through the evil called sex-for-movie-rope propositions, which we hear is still rampant in the industry?
Hmmm, it’s a very delicate issue because of how deep-rooted it is. Hopefully, the more young ladies gather the boldness to speak out, the better. But then, fear of stigmatization and loss of jobs is the major problem.
Who are those people you admire, role models, and why do you like them?
Role models are the people of old like Maya Angelou, Nina Simone, and people who have effectively brought about change.
What are some of the principles that you hold onto in life?
Stand by the choices you make, regardless of the outcome.
How do you balance your acting career with your other endeavours?
Balancing it all isn’t easy. I’m still trying to figure it all out.