In every romantic relationship, sex plays a vital role.
Great thinkers say sex is like a grease that lubricates the rust and rough edges – especially in marriages. But some see sex as a fling, having fun and keeping up with the Jones.
The moment a man gets attracted to a lady, sex seemingly begins to play its traditional role. In that case, it may either stabilise or destabilise the relationship.
Now, the question for ladies is, after the consensus sex, what next? This question is pertinent because oftentimes, so many who indulge in sexual relationships do so at their own detriment. Most of them remain in regret after the action.
Now, some people reason that the quest to attract men could be likened to scoring a vital goal. And so, many women do all they can to net the goal. Perhaps, that is the reason nudity has risen to the peak in recent times.
Does it then surprise anyone why our so-called female celebrities are highly rated nude experts these days? Does it surprise anyone that nudity reigns in both public and private spaces? And now, regrettably, many women who are experts in the act are converting many young ones to nude queens. They are teaching them to hunt for men – all for money and sex. And sadly once again, some funny characters are now declaring that nudity is their generational act.
Over time, the social media has become a veritable platform for posting all forms of deep-rooted, V-neck dresses that expose everything in a woman especially the breast. Women now don outfits with very long slits that show their bodies up to their waists line. Also on the social media, they showcase personal pictures that show off their Brazilian-Butt-Lift (BBL) buttocks all in a bid to attract men.
Need we emphasise that all the revealing clothes from the head to the toe which women wear these days are clear invitation to immorality, sexism, nudity at its best and lack of confidence in a lady? Then after trading, exposing and finally catching the “big fish,” what follows id sex. But after that what is next?
One must admit that if the boobs and butts show business is not booming, perhaps it would have died out. But because some male folks are out to patronage the trade, it will always blossom.
Now, here are some very interesting questions. Can sex guarantee the Eldorado called marriage? Can sex keep a man? These are vital questions for the young ladies out there to answer.
Going further down the road, one also asks: Apart from sex what is your strength in a relationship? What is your unique selling point (USP)? What is that quality in you that can move mountains and make a man leave his father and mother and join up with you? And as the Good Book says, both of you will become one. After sex, what is next?
Once, former Ekiti State First Lady, Erelu Bisi Fayemi, was asked in an interview: “What attracted you to your husband, Dr. Kayode Fayemi?” In her reply she said: “We met in a post degree class and my husband said he liked me because I was one of the brightest in class then.”
Left to me, Dr. Fayemi saw the real strength of their would-be union that would endure when the urge for sex began to wane in their journey together. He saw in her, an intelligent woman who would share his passion, ideas and yet give him sex. Suffice to say that the former governor had eyes to see the inner woman. And he was right because his wife was always an executive member of Nigerian First Ladies while she reigned as First Lady of Ekiti State.
Now look at this. In faraway Uganda in 2019 during the African Women’s Leadership Institute, proud Dr. Fayemi was home watching and supporting his vibrate wife as she delivered a brilliant paper. Guess the title. “Women where are your wrappers.”
The meat of the paper was that “one of the women in the market went into labour unexpectedly; it seemed there was no time to take the woman to a nearby hospital or clinic; so the women around them went into action. Some of them ran around to fetch basins, hot water, towel and razors. Majority of the women took out their wrappers and held them up, creating a protective ring around the woman. They shielded her from prying eyes while a few held her hands and encouraged her to push.
To Mrs. Fayemi, the wrappers signified protection, solidarity, sisterhood, empathy, kindness, compassion and all that makes us human.
Espousing further, Erelu Fayemi urged women to bring out their various wrappers and shield other women in various challenges. She said: “Use your wrappers to get contracts for other women, help with their rent, pay her children’s school fees and other humanitarian services.”
One cannot agree any less that apart from sex, Erelu’s husband saw in her, sheer intelligence which she manifests wherever she goes, and that has kept them together in their marital journey.
Today I ask, young ladies who wear nudity as a badge to attract men: after sex, what is next?
Again, I ask, can only sex keep a man for the woman?
Sisters, after listening to men discussing at a drinking joint, I can authoritatively tell you that only sex cannot keep a woman in the arms of a man. This is the telling truth most women do not know yet. The next reality is that men know women whose only offering is sex. They can equally differentiate them from those with superior offering. The earlier every lady realises this, the earlier they will begin to make amends.
Now, here are more questions. Could sex be described as the only icing on the cake? Could there be other super ingredients that can blend with it? Otherwise why would ladies complain that after giving men their body they still leave? One wonders why women who give their body and those who do not give complain about their men leaving.
Now, truth be told. Only sex is not enough to keep a man. Some marriages break up because some women think they can hold a man only with sex. This is probably not true. What is true is that a woman must bring something to the table. And what are those thing one may ask. Now here are some of them. If you need to go back to school, please go ahead. If you are inclined to learn a trade or acquire a skill, or empower and equip yourself better please go ahead. If you combine any of them with sex, you are close to the Eldorado of your dream.
But wait a minute. Which man will be proud of a jobless wasteful woman who has no skill, no skilled job, no trade, no business? Which man will feel fully fulfilled with a woman who can only offer sex, whose stock in trade is to post nude photos of her on social media handles?
Over the weekend, Moses Bliss Uyah Enang, a Nigerian gospel singer got engaged to his London-based Ghanaian all-natural fiancée Marie Wiseborn. This became reality courtesy of the qualities Enang saw in her. Both claim they met on Instagram.
Watching their engagement ceremony, which took place in London, Marie wore no nude clothes, no make-up, no bleached skin, no expensive jewelries and bone-straight wig, no designer clothes and shoes, and no Instagram-clout chasing.
Now look at this. Marie is a lawyer, preacher and singer all wrapped in one.
Marie is a graduate of the University of London, and an alumna of City Law School, where she had her bar vocational studies post graduate diploma.
She gave a speech at the University of Surrey’s Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS), which offers a range of undergraduate and post graduate courses in Law and Politics.
For the fact that both are committed Christians, it is very possible that sex has not been involved in their union. Their wedding bell is ringing loudly in all quarters.
Apart from sex, there are a lot of attractions around the Ghanaian black beauty that is pushing her fiancé to hurry up and take her away. Indeed, there is much more to life than different sex styles.
To also think that sex is the cheapest item which could be bought anywhere now is not an exaggeration. There is sex in the market places, business areas, schools, neighborhood, offices and in the warm embrace of prostitutes.
A man can get sex from any of the aforementioned quarters. Again, truth be told, no man can stay with a woman just because of sex. If it is so, the so-called sex will become boring and nauseating. Ladies who present sex as their Curriculum Vitae, here are more questions for you. How intellectually sound are you? How spiritually, physically and mentally alert are you as a wife material? Can your husband’s business be entrusted to your care for one brief moment? What can you create from nothing?
Indeed, there is a lot to learn from women who are currently pushing to create something out of nothing. One of such women is Mrs. Angie Bankole, a renowned nursery, primary and secondary school owner. She stands as a beacon of tenacity after the death of her first child who was entrusted into the care of babysitters.
Late Oluwashemilore was a slow-eating baby who was forced to eat and choke. He died from complications from chocking when he could not breathe again. His mother, Bankole, had to resign from her white-collar job to start a baby-sitting centre which later metamorphosed into a registered school over the years. She made her husband to become a business owner in addition to giving him sex.
On a final note, be mindful that men love intelligent ladies. They love ladies with ideas; they respectful ladies who are strong built – ladies with character. Men respect ladies who break the ceiling, who know what domestic work means. Men love and appreciate women who are good and excellent in multi-tasking. Men respect and honour ladies with very high sense of responsibilities – ladies who also keep their eyes on the home front.
Dear Nigerian ladies, know it from today. Sex is very cheap. Every Tom, Dick and Harry can buy it as far as there is little change in your hands. So you need to build yourself beyond sex like the like Maries Wiseborn did in far away in London, thus capturing the heart of a young Nigeria man via Instagram.
Please leave the make-ups, the 18-inches bone-straight wig, various colours of facial paints. Be a productive lady!
Men are looking for ladies with ideas and solution not those who drag around BBL butts and showcase their two auricles and ventricles in the name of fashion. Build yourself beyond sex and be celebrated at all times. Does that sound clear?