By Vivian Onyebukwa
The locals call them ‘ambulance’ drivers.” This is a misnomer. This is because their jobs entail more than carrying wounded patients to hospitals in emergency cases. It is rather all about driving a hearse that takes corpses to either their final resting places or to mortuaries closer to their hometowns, for safekeeping till the day of burial.
But over the years, many myths have been built around those who convey dead bodies and the work they do, so much that they attract the same fear and awe as the corpses they carry. Some believe that they speak to dead bodies.
This belief was confirmed by Mrs. Chinwendu Nnadi “Nwanyi Ambulance”, the female hearse driver who, in a recent story published in Saturday Sun, boasted that she speaks to stubborn dead bodies and they obey her.
Some people believe that hearse drivers see ghosts from time to time. Others believe that they are half-human, half-spirit since the activities they engage in have something to do with dead bodies. These were the concerns that the correspondent took up with some of the hearse drivers in Lagos.
Encounter with robbers, spirits
One of them, Paul Ukwuoma insisted on not disclosing much of his experiences on the job. He said there were dead bodies that would be reluctant to embark on a journey they do not agree with until they are appeased or appealed to, he talked about such dangers as being attacked by men of the underworld. He recalled a scary incident that happened to him. “I was travelling from Lagos to Owerri, late in the evening. I had to stop over at Benin when it was dark. I set out very early in the morning the following day at 4.30 am. That was when I ran into some dangerous boys. They were five, all armed. They collected all my money. But thank God that they did not harm me. One gave me a black eye from a hot slap he landed on my face for trying to resist them initially.”
Left penniless by the experience, he said he went to the bank after delivering the corpse to take some money with which he fuelled his car on his way back to Lagos. According to him, his relations had asked him to quit the business because of the risks involved, physically and spiritually.
He also said he had experienced the much talked about anger of the dead body’s hovering spirit. He explained: “There was a day I was conveying a corpse from Lagos to Enugu. Suddenly, the vehicle stopped. There was nothing that the mechanic did not do to make the vehicle work but there was no way. We spent hours until I called one of my colleagues. He advised me on what to do. I am one of those who did not believe in the tradition of appeasing dead bodies when it comes to conveying corpses. But that day, I believed. My colleague advised me to pour schnapps on the engine of the Volvo car and utter whatever I wanted. He also asked me to go around the vehicle three times. Could you believe that as soon as I did that and tried starting the vehicle, it responded. From then on, I started fearing the dead. When they say there is nothing like spirits, it’s not true. Spirits exist. If you have a third eye, you would see them. Some of them died prematurely and are angry.”
He swore to quit the business as soon as he’s able to make enough money from it. “When I have enough money to set up a good business like building materials business, I will stop.”
A daughter’s invocation of her father’s spirit
Adebiyi Oladipo Mayungbe, from Ogun State, told Saturday Sun that he joined the business after losing his former job during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to him, his friend living in Lagos Island where his elder brother worked with a funeral company introduced him to the business. He started as a corpse dresser and bearer. He narrated his first experience which he said took place at the Ikeja General Hospital mortuary. “When we were told to come to pick up the corpse, I was scared. But I later summoned up courage. After all, there is nothing to fear.”
He, however, began to pick more interest in the job when he was asked to accompany a corpse to Ughelli, Delta State. He recalled: “On the day of the event, we appeared in our attire. I really loved the attire and funeral arrangements. I worked with the company for about nine months.” But since then he had not looked back. According to him, he continued with the business after his friend advised him to come down to Isolo, Lagos. He had a car and driver’s licence and assured him of a lucrative business.
After working for the company for about nine months, he was given a car for which he is paying by instalments. He noted: “Since then, I have been enjoying the job. I personally like driving and going to places. So the job just matches my lifestyle. That is why I don’t find it difficult when I am travelling to anywhere. I see it as a kind of going on an excursion.”
Having been on the job for about two years, Mayungbe, father to a girl and a boy, shared some personal experiences as a hearse driver.
On the common belief about the spirit of dead bodies proving ‘stubborn’ and stopping vehicles from conveying them to wherever they wouldn’t want, he said: “Actually, I have heard about such experiences. But I did not believe it until the day it happened to me. I was travelling to Enugu with a corpse. The bearer and the daughter of the deceased were seated in front of the car with me. Nothing was wrong with my vehicle. But when we got to Sagamu, the engine of the vehicle suddenly stopped working. I called my boss. He said he was going to bring another vehicle with the mechanic to transfer the corpse while he (the mechanic) would come back with the bad ‘ambulance’ (hearse) to Isolo. Before all these could be done, it was night and we had nowhere to sleep. So we had to sleep in the vehicle with the corpse. When we took off the following day, on getting to Delta State, I had a flat tyre. When we got to Anambra State, my timing belt cut. It was then the woman in the vehicle started calling on the spirit of the dead man by name, telling him to come, let’s go home. She told me to buy some gin. I bought two sachets of the gin and went to the back and sprinkled them on the corpse. The mechanic came and also helped me to fix the timing belt. After that, the journey continued smoothly and unhindered.”
A driver’s scary experience
Another hearse driver, Sholesi Olamipo Gbenga, also from Ogun State revealed that he had been in the business of ferrying corpses across Nigerian cities for the past 12 years. A graduate of Business Administration from Olabisi Onabanjo University, he is the owner of “God is Able Funeral Homes,” Isolo, Lagos. By way of reminiscence of how he got into the business, he said after graduation, he initially ran a business centre in a small ‘container’ inside Isolo General Hospital, very close to the mortuary. He operated phone calls services and the sale of recharge cards while waiting for the day he would be called up for gainful employment that would fit his status.
He said: “I saw how the hearse drivers were doing it, and I thought of going into the business. To me, it looked quite lucrative and people were not rushing into it then. Going into the business has to do with one’s state of mind. Before then I used to be scared of dead bodies. But before long I decided to join them. It was then that I discovered that it is a very good business. Today, I can tell you that the financial proceeds from it are what I use to take care of my family.”
But he gave an ambivalent answer to questions that have to do with some of the beliefs that people hold about the work they do and the dead. “There is nothing to fear about dead bodies. We believe that the dead is dead, and we are taking them to a destination. There is nothing attached.”
That answer was elicited by a question on the general belief that exists about dead bodies tampering with the mechanical workings of vehicles conveying them to places they didn’t want to go. He said he believes that such mechanical problems have nothing to do with dead bodies but could occur at any time, just as happens in other non-dead-body-carrying vehicles without giving a prior warning.
His doubts notwithstanding, he shared an experience that showed that such inexplicable phenomena might actually exist. He said: “There was a time I was conveying a corpse to Anambra State. My vehicle was very sound. Then I was using a Volvo car which I believed was sound enough to go anywhere. I go to Abuja, Cotonou, Kano, Cameroon, Lokoja, and so on with it. I believed in the ability of that vehicle to go anywhere. But as soon as we got to Sagamu, the vehicle broke down. We called the first mechanic. He couldn’t fix it. I had to ask another vehicle to convey the corpse. Surprisingly, as soon as the corpse left my vehicle, it started.
The second driver managed it and forced the vehicle to start. But after it moved, it did not reach up to a kilometre before its engine got stalled. We had to call on another ‘ambulance’ driver who was coming from the East.
“The man was a bit fetish. After listening to the story of what happened to the first and second vehicles, he agreed to transport the corpse. He charged the owners of the corpse, and they paid. But when he wanted to put the corpse into his ‘ambulance’, instead of putting its legs inward and the head outward, the way we usually do, he turned it the other way round. Again, instead of putting the corpse face up, he put it face down inside the bag. He also made some incantations, and went around his vehicle three times. Immediately, his vehicle started. He was the one that later delivered the job. It was one of the worst experiences I ever had on this job. So I agree with the beliefs partially because of that experience that I had. Some people believe that ghosts come around. But I don’t believe that there is anything like a dead man’s spirit. I have not seen one, with the exception of that ugly experience.”
Appreciation fees and charges to various destinations
He uses ‘anointing oil’ in place of gin or schnapps, he said, and he prefers that his own “Driver’s Care or Appreciation Fee” be monetised. He said: “Some would use gin, schnapps to start pouring libation on the corpse or tyres. But I don’t do such. All I do is to open the boot of my car, bring out my ‘anointing oil’, put it in my hand, and touch my head and the front of my vehicle. Some people give us chicken, some, schnapps. But me I take monetary equivalent.”
But he explained that the business of conveying corpses to places should not be translated to mean that they are praying for people to die every day so that there could be business. He said: “I am not praying for people to die, but I have to eat and feed my family. The way we have new births is the same way we have deaths every day. Life is ‘plus one, minus one!’”
He insisted that his business is not the only one where people depend on bad things happening before they could eat. He said: “I pay my tithe. A policeman would tell you the same thing: that he goes to church and pays his tithe. The same for a lawyer, medical doctor, pharmacist and coffin maker. Our livelihoods depend on the same kind of job.”
A breakdown of prices he gave to this correspondent shows that to convey corpses, you pay as much as N80, 000 to Anambra State, N100, 000 to Abia in a Volvo car, N120, 000 to Umuahia; N140,000 to Isiala Ngwa and between N200,000 and N250,000 to Cameroon. To show you how lucrative the business is, he said he has been able to purchase two Mercedes R350 4Matic, mostly used for ceremonial burials. He explained: “If the job is within Lagos for instance from Isolo to Ikotun or Atan cemetery, I charge about N100, 000. That’s why I told you that the job is lucrative.”
Not for the fainthearted But Mayungbe is sceptical about inviting some jobless youths to take it up. He explained: “There are some risks involved in this business. To drive long distance, you must not drink. A little intake of alcohol can make you doze off. And most people can’t do without drinking while driving. Some others too can have accidents on the way because of their negligence. So I don’t advise every jobless youth to come into this business. Someone who is not competent to drive on the highway should not be allowed to do so because they could constitute a danger both to themselves and to other road users. This is because sometimes we drive for about 20 to 24 hours.”
You wanted to know what their family members think of them and the job they do. Gbenga laughed and said: “My wife and children still perceive me as a father, and a normal human being. After all, I don’t bring the corpses home.” He also dismissed the notion people have about them being half-human, half-spirit. “We are not supernatural; we are humans like other people. It is just a mindset. When I was in school, I never thought of doing an ‘ambulance’ job. I only thought of doing an office job, which I couldn’t get.”
And to Mayungbe, “my family does not see the business as an odd job. The only thing is that I don’t go home often; I do on some weekends. I live in Ikorodu but work in Isolo. Sometimes when I go for the job when I am returning I stop by and spend about two days with them.”
What do they think of life, you asked. Do they believe that they too would one day die? Gbenga was the one that answered. His words: “I think of today, not of tomorrow. In my church, we believe that someone would one day die and indeed, anyone can die at any time.”