By Bianca Iboma-Emefu
Hanatu Enwemadu is a lawyer and social change agent, as well as a certified therapist for child and family wellbeing.
She is also the executive director/founder of “A Mother’s Love Initiative (AMLi’s), a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) that advocates balancing and equal training of the girl and boy child straight, to make the boy child responsible in the future.
In this interview, she advocated the grooming of the boy child, bring him to equality with the girl child in order to improve the society.
She revealed that attention around the globe is female-centric, stressing the need to mold the boy child equally.
She believes that if the boy child is raised properly and domesticated they would become responsible fathers in future, emphatically it would strengthen families, society, leadership and institutions. Excerpt:
What inspired your decision to advocate for the African child, Nigerian children and your focus on the boy child?
I was born and bred in Borno State, the northern part of Nigeria, where things are sort of being soar. I moved to Lagos, 10 years ago, but what caught my attention, was when I noticed that children goes very early to school and they had to struggle through life. I saw it as a need, why are parents hurrying this kids into schools. Isn’t there an implication for this act? Basically, it is so clear that the kids are going through a lot of stress. It took me some time to figure it out and six years ago I decided to make a difference and I started with the advocacy, but I discovered that I needed a platform to truly operate from, so I started the NGO.
After the establishment, I swung into action and the campaign about the implications began. Why do we hurry kids into school. The African child should be given opportunities and accessible platform where they can process information, especially when they are embattled with a challenge in the course of their development.
There are certain challenges inherent in the hurried child syndrome that include unbalanced emotional intelligence and mental health challenge.
Why the call for more attention being paid to the boy child?
Basically, it is necessary in order to strengthen society, families, leadership, and institutions we need to pay more attention to the way the boy child is raised. From education to protection, the girl-child is seen as a vulnerable member of society, issues about them are often at the forefront of advocacy and this has exposed an imbalance in the way child issues are treated based on gender. A vulnerable girl-child is likely to get a quicker response compared to the boy-child. The implication of this is that the boy-child is neglected, and societies would be flooded with boys who becomes irresponsible or susceptible to crimes. My NGO is an intervention platform that provides a positive, permanent shift in the quality of life of the boy-child. For the legal practitioner the male child is not getting adequate attention in society. There is need to balance and ensure a wholesome parenting in the raising of the boy. We would be having a boy child conversation in November where experts, stakeholders would be involved in the conversation.
A sound boy child is pivotal to strengthening the society, families, leadership and our institutions.
Statistics of prison admissions in Nigeria show that the male gender commits the top crimes for most prison admissions. How do we reduce this number?
Advocacy and education are the key factors.
As a boy child advocate, what is your take on balancing the training and your advice to parents to give balanced and equal training to male and female children?
Parents need to domesticate the boy-child to become a responsible father in future, this would curb the moral decadence in the society. The Nigerian society focused more on the girl-child, thereby neglecting the boy-child, this attitude contribute largely to the increase in social vices in the country. As a society we need to train both genders equally to change the narrative as no gender is better than the other. The boy-child should not be neglected, I am seeking more attention and mentorship for the boy child. I encourage parents to please create time for their children, raise the boy-child the same way they are raising the girl, because these children are the next generation and future. We should let the boy-child do chores, he shouldn’t be left to play all the time, while the girls are involved with the chores, they should be included though I am not against them playing.
But they should be allowed to grow up thinking about the house chores, cooking ,washing clothes, dishes, let them learn how to manage the home.
Do you think the moral decadence in the society would be reduced if parents can domesticate the boy child to become a responsible father in future?
Children need to be cared for in a way that promotes their ability to thrive. We should ensure that their survival and protection is guaranteed. The main issue, therefore, is that, when the girl child is fully nurtured and she ends up marrying a boy child that was not so well nurtured, it leads to sharp rise in the rate of domestic violence and divorce, breaking homes and causing all manner of problems in the society.
We should insist on grooming the boy child and bring him to equality with the girl child in order to improve the society. Attention around the globe is female-centric, but there is the need to mold the boy child.
What measures do you recommend for parents, teachers, and other stakeholders to protect children against child sexual abuse?
Parents/Teachers and stakeholders need to encourage open communication with their children and wards. Parents need to devout more time and enjoy the company of their children because it is from small conversations they will be able to hear big things.
Children are the future and the right investment in them will help protect the future. Child sexual abuse should not be treated as family affair. Let sex offenders be reported, persecuted and justice served to victims. This will serve as a deterrence to others.
Age-appropriate sexuality and body safety education should be encouraged at homes and in schools. There is need for more enlightenment about the dangers of child sexual abuse and how to contain it. States need to create easy and accessible centres where cases of child sexual abuse can be reported and promptly handled. I am encouraged by the enormous work and achievement by the Lagos State government. They have been able to contribute much in this areas compared to other state.
There have been a rise in cases of girl-child sexual abuse and the boys equally face the same fate, but much has not be done. What in your opinion is responsible for the rising cases of child sexual abuse?
I believe that people are beginning to speak up more, unlike some years ago where many sexual incidents occurred, but are unreported. The recent increase in reported cases could be partly attributed to more enlightenment and advancement in technology, especially the social media revolution. This has made it look like child sexual abuse is on the increase. Specifically, child sexual abuse is on the rise due to parental neglect. Regrettably, some parents neglect their roles while pursuing careers or for other endeavours and are allowing their children to be influenced by the society, the social media, celebrities, among others. The reality is that children cannot raise themselves and an untrained parent cannot properly train their children. This is why as a parent you should collaborate and network with other parents and stakeholders, who have the experience in raising positive children.
What are some of the challenges you have faced in the course of doing what you are doing?
A major challenge is not being heard enough;I have not being able to reach as many boys as we would love to, we need collaboration and partners who can lend a hand in achieving this feat.
What are some of the impacts your organization, Mother’s Love Initiative?
Love has put the foundation forward. We have held several programmes and initiatives for the African child with our focus on Nigerian child. But mine, I am passionate about the way the boy child is raised, so we do programmes that are impactful. Research, psychosocial and media to impact the boy child. The girl child is ready, when we had a programme on Father’s Day, for the boy child, we had gift items such as laptops, phones, the boys were asking the type of gift while girls wanted to participate, we had to inform them that it was strictly for the boys. Every last Saturday of every month we have interactive session and other side attractions for the boy child just to educate them. When a boy child is hurried through school, he doesn’t have a social skill. A child moves from primary 3 to secondary school, and they are 15, 16 in tertiary institutions. We would be having a stakeholders/town hall meeting on the Hurried Child Project in November, in Abuja, with the theme: Hurried Child Syndrome, the Implications for Sustainable National Development.
What advice do you have for parents on how they can raise their children?
Parents should be intentional, they can get information about the different stages and ages of their children and be prepared to handle them. There is nothing wrong to ask questions and find out how those with positive children were able to achieve it. For those in the rural path, use the language you understand to make enquiry. We need this collaborations.