Virtually everyone in his days knew or heard about the Cameroonian highlife maestro, Prince Nico Mbarga. Even latter-day Africans and the world can never forget his hit tribute to women, “Sweet Mother.”
Reflecting over that evergreen song, I have come to conclude that Mbarga was among those that saw men as sperm donors, period. I have searched for a similar tribute to men in vain, not by Mbarga nor any other musician.
In fact, the odds are piled against men but, basking in his highfalutin gra gra, man prances the stage with swagger but ends up losing even his children to the wife.
A man would suffer to get money but trusts his wife with the management. She ends up stealing the heart of the children, making them to believe that she bought all that they needed and paid their school fees. And so, in old age, all the man gets is a walking stick and some stupid stuff, while mama cruises across towns and continents for omugwo. Poor suffering man, he cradles forlorn hopes by the hearth, wondering when the gains of his years of endless labour would ever come.
Anyway, that is a story for another but let’s look at the timeless question by Ayodele Adeoye, as posted on Oluwarotimi Omopariola’s wall:
When will a man ever enjoy in life?
When I was a little boy, I was told severally not to give in for enjoyment, rather work hard and face my books.
They painted a picture of “don’t worry, deny yourself now and enjoy later”.
This was all I heard from my parents and those ahead of me all through my primary school and secondary school.
It was another phase of self-denial when I got into the tertiary institution; coupled with living a Christian life characterised with rigorous fasting, vigil and many other self-denials.
My enjoyment was further postponed to a future time.
After graduation, I had the impression that when I get married I will rest from some level of self-denials.
But my dream never materialised.
This is the time emphasis is laid on building my future – a time I must eat less in order to secure my future and that of my children. The loads and burdens of family began to weigh me down.
School fees, family bills and future security won’t let me enjoy the little I sweat to make.
I have to keep saving from the little I make, while I sacrifice those things my soul earnestly desires.
As one begins to climb the ladder of 50, nature begins to deny you some privileges.
Those food you like to eat are been taken away from you for health reasons.
Strength to enjoy life begins to diminish at 50.
If you have accumulated wealth, others have to help you eat it while you subject yourself to fruits and vegetables.
What a life of bitterness.
When you have what it takes to enjoy life, you are barred from enjoying just to secure your future.
Now you are in the future you sacrificed for but you are being monitored by your doctor. Your diet is streamlined and limited to what the doctor prescribed.
When will Eccl. 2.24 come to pass?
“There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.”
And Eccl.3.13
“And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.”
I think there it is an error somewhere.
Why would a man work all the days of his life without enjoying his labour?
This is an error. In an attempt to save money for the future they are not sure of, many had gone to their early graves because of malnutrition, self-medication and undue self-denial.
I strongly believe everything in life has a time, according to Ecclesiastes 3.
There is time for self-denial and there is time for enjoyment.
A time to give to your soul what it desires.
A time to eat good food, wear nice clothes, travel to memorable places and time to make merry. Life is not that long as we think.
While working for your future, don’t shut down your present.
Eat meat when you have teeth.
Wear good clothes when you still have the shape.
Have moment dedicated for relaxation.
Don’t invest all your life working for others. It is an error.
Let’s start enjoying from here before we enter into everlasting enjoyment that has no end.
Some will miss enjoyment here on earth and still miss it hereafter, God forbid.
Enjoy your life within the confine of righteousness and feel good.”
Does that not remind you of one of Nico Mbarga’s classics, “No Die, No rest”? So, we keep trudging on, hoping to find rest in death.
Truly, as that grey, bent man sat in solitude, taking stock of his struggles and the vain hope of later enjoyment, is it worth it? Do you really think death would terminate his misery and reward him with enjoyment and a peaceful rest?
But come to think of it, does death really bring man to rest and enjoyment? It seems to me that quite a great number of the people we pray should rest in peace actually rest in pieces and crises.
You see, rest comes from advance preparation. Yes, rest comes to the prepared. You cannot eat your evening in the morning and expect to rest and enjoy when that bald season arrives.
Seasons? Oh, yes, seasons; life is a cycle of seasons. That is what Ecclesiastes 3 talks about. There is a season for everything in life; time to be born and time to die; time to work and time to get paid. That’s planting and reaping.
All the kleptomaniacs in power, the immoral and ungodly, have certainly boarded the wrong bus driven by the devil himself. Can’t you feel the bumps, as he madly drives you off the cliffhanger?
You will begin to rest and enjoy life only when you extricate yourself from his vile grip and get off that bus about to tumble into eternal abyss where sorrow and agony is company. That time is now; think about it!