Love is in the air. It’s Valentine’s Day in a few days and lovers are ready to show how much they love their partners.
Love means different things to different people. To some, love means sweet words, kind words and positive affirmations. To others, it means hugs, kisses and cuddles. And yet to some, love means gifts, surprise parties and more thoughtful gifts.
Love is important in relationships. Many people get married for love, but over the years, the daily grind of life tends to eat away at the love they feel for one another. Couples get carried away with their challenges that they don’t create time for romance.
Marriages these days are very challenging. Forget about romantic movies and novels, that is fiction. Real life relationships and marriages are as challenging as living itself. Some couples are living like flat mates, strangers and even enemies in private, while they pretend in public to be happy.
Many dysfunctional marriages abound even around us. The malaise cuts across the social strata, including celebrities and the clergy. These scary marriage stories makes one ask: What happened to the love couples professed to one another when they were courting? Where did the romance go?
In a few days, the colour of love will fill the air. Flowers, chocolates, and perfumes will flow in abundance as couples try to outdo each other in their show of love on Valentine’s Day.
Some men and women told Effects some of the things they did and received for love.
Olawale: Most times, I serve my wife breakfast in bed
One of the romantic things I do to add spice to my marriage is the breakfast in bed treatment I give to my wife. I also anticipate what she wants to be done and try to get it done without her asking me. Once in a while, I drop gifts or notes in her bags, or anywhere in the house. I know she loves good perfumes, so I buy them for her without her asking. These are the things that keep us going.
In my opinion, one of the secrets of a fulfilling marriage is giving gifts to your spouse. When you give, your partner will also love to give back and before you know it, it becomes part of your life. It is terrible to be in a marriage with a spouse who is stingy.
Francisca: My husband and I surprise each other
As a couple, we make effort to rekindle the fire in our relationship. Otherwise, our lives will be boring. My husband is a very creative person who is more romantic than I am. Sometimes, when I return home from the office, I see that he has prepared dinner with a bottle of my favourite drink. I would not miss it- very sweet things that make me smile
This is one of the ways we spice up our marriage. We don’t have to spend money on that. I do that too. Sometimes, I could get a sticky notepad and write something and slip into the shoes I know he will be wearing the next day. It makes him happy and wanted.
He is very creative at springing surprises on me, because he knows how to draw; he could just scribble something very funny to make me happy. This makes my heart swirl for him.
Helen: The way my husband praises me blows my mind
There are many things my husband does that make me go crazy. When we are together in bed, the way he caresses me, tells me sweet words, and praises me for who I am, blows my mind. It sends me into a romantic mood. I have been enjoying that from him. I am really proud of him for that. When a man appreciates you always, it makes me feel wanted and complete as a woman.
I love the way my man cherishes me. He knows my value in the family. His appreciation encourages me as a wife and mother to keep up the effort. My husband is a precious gift. Meeting him was not a mistake. He has given me true happiness.
Nancy: My act of love is forgiving my husband in advance
My husband and I believe that the Bible contains success tips for every sphere of life. We have been applying it in our marriage and it is working.
We read a lot of marriage literatures – books that deal with practical principles we can apply in our marriage. You can’t wish for a good marriage and have it just like that. You must work for a good marriage.
I believe that forgiving my husband in advance is my act of love towards him. To me, marriage is a union of two good forgivers. I am willing to forgive my husband as many times as possible, because I love him.
Arinze: I take my lover to places she loves to go
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over three years now. I love her because of the way she makes me calm down whenever I am angry.
The little things I do to keep my relationship intact and interesting include taking my babe out to places she loves visiting. This is my own act of love to the woman who stole my heart. At times, we go out in the night. Sometimes, we just stroll around the street. And we travel together whenever she is on leave.
Onyinye: We have timetable for getaways
My husband shows me love by helping out with the children and doing house chores. There is no greater act of love to me than him doing these things without being asked.
When I hear many women complaining about crumbling under the weight of house chores without their husbands helping out, I thank my stars for the kind of husband I married.
My husband and I also set timetables of when and how we would spend time together, even at places far away from home. We create time for each other now, and we get to bond better. That is one of the ways we show affection to each other.
Bisi: My husband gives up his entire weekend for me
It takes wisdom and patience to build a home, especially since your spouse is someone with a different background. There is reason for romance. It should start from day one. I show my husband how much I love him by respecting him as the head of our home. I defer to him whenever there is an important decision to be made. I commend him for being a good husband.
In this part of the world, it is not easy for us to go for vacation. But once in a while, my loving husband gives up his entire weekend for me. He gives up hanging out with his friends to spend the weekend away from home with me.
George: I relocated to another state because of my wife
I was in a relationship for two years before we got married. My wife works with an oil company. After we got married last year, she was contemplating resigning her lucrative job to come join me in Lagos but I refused.
I knew how important her career was to her and how good she feels making money. I told her that I would relocate to her base instead. It was a tough decision but I love my wife and would do anything to make her happy by my side. We have been waxing stronger by the day and love is so sweet with such sacrifice.