From Okwe Obi, Abuja
The increasing cases of marital failures and societal decadents prompted the gathering of female lawyers under the aegis of Global Association of Female Attorney (GAFA), and top Nollywood actor, Ken Okonkwo, among others, to find lasting solutions to the problems.
The gathering, which took place in Abuja recently, was at the instance of Barr. Chinelo Iriele, whose daughter was about to get married. Participants were dressed in red and white, a symbolism of love. Also the event featured drama presentation by members of GAFA and paper presentation by Rita Chris Garuba.
In her address, Iriele spoke on the importance of peace and happiness devoid of nepotism and unhealthy favouritism in the society. According to her, parental negligence largely contribute to social vices.
She said: “As you are well aware, my beloved daughter Uchenna will be getting married to her heartthrob Okwunna on Saturday March 15, 2025 in North Carolina, USA, as a prelude to the epoch making occasion, I have specially invited you to celebrate with me and family as we advance towards the wedding proper.
“The purpose of our assembly tonight is not misplaced as it is meant to celebrate our love for ourselves and for one another.
“Kindly advocate that we go beyond wining, dining and dancing to watch, listen and digest our soft approach to sundry issues that touch on our lives as men, women, fathers mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, and members of the global family.
“While expressing my profound gratitude to you all for accepting the invitation, I seek for continuous prayer and support for a successful marriage between Uchenna Iriele and Okwunna Obi before, during and after the wedding, as well as for the Irieles and Obis.”
Speaking on Womanhood: Our role as mothers in the home, Rita Chris Garuba, stressed that womanhood was all about embracing femininity, nurturing, and caring for others.
She said: “Women find strength in challenges of life. Womanhood entails the ability of a mother, a sister, a problem solver, and a friend. Womanhood is not just something that you make your own wish. It means that womanhood is actually a journey that evolves and changes.”
She informed that the role of woman as a wife in her home was fundamental and essential for a successful family, noting: “The woman anchors it all and it is the way she handles her role as wife and mother that brings out the society we have today.”
Fielding questions from journalists on why many marriages were collapsing, she said: “Many women are not fulfilling their roles effectively because we have a lot of distraction. Money is the main distraction. Many women are often working left, right, and centre, trying to make money for the family and in the process the family suffers.
“Things are crashing because we are not adjusting properly to the need of the day. Mothers have to adjust to get things to work properly.
“Society has changed, and we appear to have moved away from roles that we need to play. A lot of mothers find it difficult to talk to their children. There is also the influence of society.
“When we were growing up, we were fearful of our parents but now our children are very difficult and there is a dichotomy between them and us. There is not enough understanding. We must come back to look at how to make it work because it has to work for society to be good.”
While speaking on the effects of good and poor parenting on children, Okonkwo harped on the need for parents to live by example because children learn more from what they see and not what you say to them. He maintained that parents needed to get their marriages right as the foundation of the home was very important.
He said: “Marriage is not always about whether a woman is good or a man is good. It’s more about the compatibility of the couple. When people want to get married, they should not think that there are certain things they can leave unresolved.
“There are little things that couples think don’t matter, but they eventually matter. That is why they need to resolve everything. They need to know each other’s irreducible minimum.
“They should know the things they can tolerate and the things they can not tolerate. If someone has attributes that you can not tolerate, it is best to end it there. There is no need to be too much in haste and make mistakes.”
On why marriages were successful in the past even though they were mostly arranged by parents, he said society was restricted then and communities lived within restricted environment, even as they adhered to culture and norm of their immediate society.
“There was no internet and aeroplanes. Each community maintained a culture peculiar to them. Hardly will they marry outside their communities.
“Their parents were the only teachers most of them were exposed to, and they trusted their parents them completely. Their world at the time resolved around their parents and family.
“There were no outside influence in their lives. People didn’t have a lot of demands then.
“However, the situation has changed with modernisation and technology. So, this generation has its own challenges influenced by the environment.
“The distractions now are many, which is why people should be allowed to make their own choices.”