By Simeon Mpamugoh
Imagine when you think you have mapped out a perfect plan to shine and take over the world, and there comes reality, smacking you really hard and letting you know that pitfalls exist and we’re all a little flawed and need more help than we sometimes admit. Welcome to Imperfectly Awesome: Embracing and Becoming a Whole You, a story of a brave and tenacious single mum with two kids who accepted her flaws, the transforming power of resilience and the victories that come with pursuing authenticity.
In this captivating memoir and anecdotes Imperfectly Awesome: Embracing and Becoming a Whole You, written by Dr. Omotola Bamigbaiye, she uncovers her monument to resiliency and the capacity for self-discovery, moulded by the vibrant energy of the busy street of Lagos to the halls of corporate power and her parents’ unyielding resolve.
From the exhilarating experience of being abandoned by a bus to the delight of finding a renewed love for stage lighting, the reader will learn from the author’s account about the joy of following her aspirations all through her career, the difficulties of negotiating social expectations, and the warmth of family ties through her anecdotes.
She staged the reading of the book and signing session recently at Roving Heights Bookstore, Retail Boulevard, Landmark Event Centre, Water Corporation Drive, Oniru, Victoria Island, Lagos. “Part of the book which I find very interesting is the introduction,” she said, reading from pages 19-21. “… It’s been over two decades since then, and I have had diverse experiences. So packed that they could see me through different times. I have also learned that there is no manual to teach you how to navigate the world of work or life in general. Most of us had to learn many things the hard way. However, I have observed that life is easier when you learn from other people’s experiences.”
On pages 130-133, the author eulogised her mum who gave her the room to focus: “…she had earlier supported my children from birth to up to six months old. And more recently, she saw them through secondary education. She was always there for their open days and picked them up every vacation…”
From career expectations to motherhood, relationships and the nagging whispers of impostor syndrome, Bamigbaiye’s story depicts that there’s always something to grapple with in life through razor sharp wisdom and large doses of humour. “..I had recently become a single mum, at a time I also lost a job and I was also looking for hope at that point in time. The three combined together, I was not just in good space. I had to tell myself that nobody was coming to save me. I had to save myself: a case of ‘if no one gingers you, you ginger yourself’ in local lingo.
“It was a lot of determination, hard work and at a time I needed help, which a lot of us don’t seek, but it is always available. I saw that help in my immediate family. They were just there to support me. In fact I moved away from my parents for a few years till I found my feet again.”
Across pages and chapters of the book, she openly read to the audience select portions which evoke genuine feeling and reflection, the unrelenting fight against misfortune and steadfast endurance of the human spirit, and encourages the reader to face life’s unavoidable storms with grace and bravery, understanding that every adversity is a necessary step towards personal growth via passionate narratives and perceptive observation. “Learning from other people’s experience saved me a lot of effort and hassle. I listened to other people, and I felt strongly that other people can get better listening, reading and sharing from my story.
“So the pivotal point of the book is to inspire someone to have hope reading the story and to look forward to knowing that one can be anything one wants to be, all it requires is to get up and go, continue and not stop. It’s because I didn’t stop until we had the book on shelves today.”
The reader will find before the conclusion the theme, unapologetic, on pages 174-176 of chapter 8, which was borne out of the fact that the author was able to overcome her challenges. “When you are unapologetic, it enables you to live your truest selves. There is a bit about trying to fit in. A lot of times when we realize the fact that when we don’t get invited to the table, we either feel upset or we feel we’re not good enough. And I tell people: “why are you always waiting to be invited? Create your own, invite your own guests and ultimately, it will always be your table and your guests….”
She offers a word of advice to the single mum in chapter 6 entitled “Girl, Get Up”. She said: “I have been there, judged and criticised, but, above it all is the confidence which my mum had placed on me and the fact that there was the support. The moment one begins to build the structure that works around oneself, one needs no other thing. It doesn’t matter the name of the individual that is there, it’s the support structure and the process that is important. That doesn’t mean you should leave everything to it, you need to also create the time to check up on kids as many times as you can, to fill in the gaps.”
Imperfectly Awesome: Embracing and Becoming a Whole You by Dr. Omotola Bamigbaiye is a tapestry of human struggle and triumph where each chapter unveils a new facet of the enduring quest for freedom. It’s a true, authentic Nigerian story which everyone can relate with.